Shrek (SuperMarioLogan)

"Don't let your kids watch it!" - Robbie Rotten This article contains potentially sensitive content that may be discomforting or upsetting to certain users. Reader discretion is advised! Reason: Heavy toilet humor, especially the visually explicit imagery of fecal matter

Shrek (SML) "There's a hairnet, in patrolling jelly, under the sink you're gonna need it! It's gonna get, really really messy!!" Gender: Male Type: Hilariously Bizarre Cake Addict Age: Unknown Species: Ogre Portrayed by: Lance Thirtyarce Status: Alive Media of origin: SuperMarioLogan

Shrek Safe Cheesecake III is a fan version of William Steig and DreamWorks's Shrek. He is an obese ogre who has a serious obsession and addiction to Sara Lee Cheesecake. He weighs about 750 pounds (mentioned in "Joseph Moves In!"). He is very obsessed with eating cheesecake and taking dumps on his toilet non-stop. He is so obsessed with cheesecake that he literally has sexual intercourse with it in addition to eating it. In "Baby Shrek", he crapped out an actual baby because of this.

Accompanied by the intelligent and good-hearted Mario who always helps him with anything that happens despite Mario having a stronger level of acumen, rationality, and common sense than Shrek does.

Why He Earns His Sara Lee Cheesecake

1. Making an extremely goofy, lazy, whimsical, capricious and mischievous version of Shrek with a completely distinctive and identical personality all by overeating cheesecake to the point of it being an obsession, getting enjoyment from crapping on a toilet daily, and being a wacky character who calls other people "donkeys" while also do nonsensically stupid things for the sake of comedic value, is a very silly yet unique concept for making an original character that stands out from what he is based on.
2. Speaking of which, his obsession for cheesecake is unhinged and utterly insane yet very comical and sometimes unpredictable.
3. While he is crazy, incredibly moronic, childish, hammy, voracious, slovenly, careless, irrational, preposterous, bizarre, incompetent, non-compliant, and generally an eccentric goofball for such a slobbish and lazy roommate, he often presents his idiocy, immaturity, and weirdness in a way that is done hilariously.
4. He is a great example of how to make a gross-out character actually entertaining and amusing because of his oddball personality, and not just because of his disgusting traits on their own.
5. No matter how ridiculous and crass he can be, his gross antics never get old and often provide a good laughs.
   • Speaking of his childishly gross antics, the humorous dynamic he has with other rational characters such as Mario, Chef Pee Pee, Brooklyn T. Guy, and Goodman comedically reacting to Shrek's fecal messes with the toilets Shrek used makes the humor that goes into his antics, which makes it a lot more hilarious for the show's comedy than usual.
6. Whenever he wants to be, despite being Shrek usually very demanding, absent-minded, deluded, lazy, jerkish, and immature most of the time; he can be friendly and sometimes helpful to Mario, as seen in the episode "Shrek the Babysitter" and "SML Movie: The Ring!".
7. He was shown to be a very caring and responsible father (and mother) to the baby he birthed in "Baby Shrek". While he has his bossy, dramatic, and overemotional moments, everything he did was done for both, comedic value and heartfelt storytelling. Being an entertainingly quirky and juvenile yet good-hearted father whose uncontrollable antics and unfortunate moments made his newfound child laugh unintentionally, and his 18 years of dedication as a parent really shows; he even cares for his son when he went to college.
8. He has a fair share of moments of showing some amount of common sense despite being a nutcase, one example of these includes reasonably pointing out how Mario was being a little hypocritical about being bald in the video "Shrek's Bath Problem" and being commonsensical in "The Couch!" when Mario points out that "shit happens" as he rationally responds to what Mario just said.
9. Lance Thirtyacre did a great job voicing him, giving Shrek a unforgettably exaggerated take on Shrek's Scottish voice and making him even more hammy and exuberant than usual.
10. He is implausibly durable and strong. Despite eating so much cheesecake that his veins are filled with cheese to the point where he has diabetes and his digestive system is destroyed, he was somehow able to absurdly be immune to diabetes, which he also has as well.
11. The time he lost weight in "Shrek's Diet" was a great change in pace to his usual antics by having a form of conflict that makes him healthier as a person, until the ending that is.
12. His antics were at their best in "Shrek's Coma". Where his brain went into a human body due to Shrek eating a tower of cheesecake, the scenes when Rosalina dates Shrek are the result of Rosalina making the mistake of flirting with him over Mario (someone who is dignified, rational, intelligent, and cares very much for her). Shrek's insanely disgusting nature at one point comes off as hilarious and worthy for Rosalina to endure as a mistake on her part, this is better seen in the scene where he tells Rosalina how many donuts he got "chocolate covered" and farted on individually for no reason other than being a weirdo.
    • In "Jeffy's Coma", his antics are amped up even further when Shrek exaggerates how terrible his farts are and how repulsive his rear end is. The way he compares his butt to being a bug-filled spider web, and his farts being so bad people have to cut their noses off, how it ruptured everyone everywhere within a 10-mile radius, how his farts are as lethal as the atomic nukes for Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and how his butt literally is the Chernobyl disaster, are really disgusting and facetious crass jokes yet are still really hilarious and ridiculous enough to make anyone laugh at how insane and glib Shrek's descriptions are (especially when Shrek twerked in front of Mario to give Mario a picture of how it'd look like to see Shrek's butt deploying the bombs like a world war plane).
13. He has provided many memorable and funny quotes and one-liners, these include:
    • His catchphrase, "Donkey!"
    • "Ah, cookies for breakfast! That is totally crazy, but I want it in my belllly!!"
    • "Ah, forget #YOLO, it's all about that #YOEC now: You Only Eat Cheesecake"
    • "I! Am!! Iron, Donkey!!!"
    • "IT'S GONNA BE HIRO-SHIMA IN HERE!!"
    • "Come on Chef Ding-Dong, time to do your job!! To wipe my ass!! Come on, it's leaking now!!!"
    • "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! COME PLUNGE MY, BUTT-HOLE!!!"
    • "The devils have possessed my bowels"
    • "Donkey, if I'm not here when you come back, the toilet has taken my soul. And, you can have my cheesecake."
    • "He just want to, touch my baby for his twisted pleasures! He's a pedophile!!"
    • "That looks like Donkey’s hemorrhoid!! Oh well, it must be good..."
    • "Okay Woody, I don't care! I want them now, give them to me! I want my butthole to feel like it's sunbathing in Costa Rica!"
    • "Oh it's so steamy on the cheesecake. Oh, it's gonna be delicious, my butthole is going to SINGE! Ahhh yeah, oooh!!!! (Intense grunting) CHEESECAKE!!!"
    • "I need money to buy the cheesecake, and I don't haave, money!"
    • "Donkey, do I look like an idiot to you?? Does it look like my BUTT can just crap out money? Huh!? Swipe your card Donkey! Swwwipe IIIT!!! ... Swipe it!"
    • "Ohhh, DONKEY!! Fifteen layers of creamy cream smooth and creamy Sara Lee Cheesecake!! Get IN MY BELLY! Oh! But first I must make room! Hggggggoh! Donkey I think I ripped something! Ho whiff thing whifft thing! Hopefully the little fart bubbles get trapped on the cheesecake. for added texture! Oh, can't wait to devour YOU!"
    • "Donkey! I'm about to eat! This tower! Of cheesecake! Fifteen layers of Creamy Cream GOODNESS!!"
    • "Watch me, Donkey! I've never got sick from eating Cheesecake!"
    • "Donkey, I'm always up for a new challenge!"
    • "Anyway Donkey, I'm gonna go take a crap, I'm gonna see what this new butthole can do!"
    • "Ohhh Donkey, this butthole's even worse than the last butthole! Ugh, I clogged the toliet Donkey, really bad, you're gonna need a surfboard and a snorkel Donkey."
    • "Anyway Donkey, I'm gonna start on round 2 in another bathroom, I'm gonna see if I can clog two toilets in one day!"
    • "I hope you like LASAGNA! Cause I farted on it!"
    • "I like to mark my territory, I'm a very territorial person! Speaking of that: Hggggggh Ohhh Donkeeyyy, get a load of THAT! Sweet cheeks!"
    • "Well, my head looks like a pineapple! And I like to fart, and crap and poop and, pretty much any bodily function I like to do it."
    • "Yes! I have a dozen donuts! And I farted on each one of them, individually. The air from my butthole, went through the donuthole, and made a whistling sound like [Whistling] Oh, the donuts used to be glazed, but now they're chocolate covered."
    • "Oh, you are smooth and creamy Sara Lee, smooth and creamy.. ohhhh the five, layered, cheesecake! I can't resist- CREAMY CREAM CREAM!!!"
    • "HGGGGGHHH!! NNNNNGAH! WHY CAN'T I FART?!"
    • "DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK FIRST DONKEY!? Not now Donkey! I'm in the middle of a CRISIS RIGHT NOW!! I can't FART Donkey! Donkey, it's like someone hit the mute button on my butthole remote, I cannot fart!"
    • "Months Donkey! I have not farted, in MONTHS! There is no sound, escaping my delectable BUNS Donkey! I don't know Donkey, I have tried, EVERYTHING! I've tried eating a bunch of cheesecake I've tried eating Taco Bell, Nothing WORKS DONKEY!!!"
    • "Donkey I HAVE TO FART TOO! BUT! I!! MY BUTTHOLE IS NOT PRODUCING SOUND, IT IS LIKE A MIIME! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A MIME IS DONKEY? ... NO SOUND AT ALL! THAT IS MY BUTTHOLE, NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BREEZE! COMING FROM MY BUTTHOLE DONKEY!!"
    • "Donkey, there is only ONE thing, that'll make me fart... BEAN soup Donkey... I have not had BEAN soup, in YEARS!! I HAVEN'T HAD IT IN SO LONG BECAUSE IT CREATES THIS, ASTRONOMICAL CRISIS DONKEY! I NEED, BEAN SOUP in order to fart! It NEVER fails Donkey! NEVER! ... HURRY DONKEY! MY BOWELS ARE GOING TO EXPLOOOOOOODE!!!!!!!"
    • "[Sniffs] Ohhhhhh, Don-key! THAT bean soup, smells so GOOD! I haven't had bean soup in forever Donkey, the last time I had bean soup, I farted so loud, that it ruptured the eardrum of EVERYONE! Within a 10-mile radius Donkey, it smelled SO bad that people had to cut off their noses, so they wouldn't PASS OUT Donkey! It genuinely seared, their nose hairs, right off Donkey. Donkey, you don't understand how BAD it smelled, like it came from the hairest and the SMELLEST butthole Donkey, MY butt hole, My butthole is SO hairy, that it looks like, a spider web, that the spider hasn't had time, to eat all the bugs out of the web yet... Donkey, my butthole is SO smelly, we didn't even have to NUKE, Hiroshima or Nagasaki Donkey! If you would've looked up at the airplane, as if it flew over those places, you would've saw THIS Donkey. YEEES! My BIG ogre BUTT! Just FARTING away into the WIND Donkey! Donkey, Chernobyl, is in MY rectum Donkey. MY BUTTHOLE, IS! Chernobyl!! SO LET ME ASK YOU THIS QUESTION Donkey! Are you SURE you want me to eat this bean soup?"
    • "I don't know Donkey. Donkey I'm all BACKED up! It's like, it's like my my rectum cannot produce AIR Donkey! It's like I got an extra pair of lungs, in my butthole, and I'm choking Donkey! I CAN'T BREATHE!! Donkey! DO CPR!!!!"
    • "Oh Donkey, I don't think the beans were more more powerful enough! I think we need, a BIGGER bean Donkey, a more POWERFUL bean! A super bean Donkey... Alright Donkey HURRY!!!"
    • "Ohhhhh!!! I feel it coming Donkey!! It's gonna be HUGE... RUN DONKEY. RUN! DONKEY!!! HUUUUGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Bad Qualities

1. Toilet/Gross-out Humor: Given that his antics were mostly related to toilet-humor and gross-out humor, he often tends to be very disgusting, immature, unhealthy, reckless and uncouth, showing little to no manners when he eats, going disasterous when he uses the restroom or taking responsibility for any of his actions due to lacking self-discipline and self-control. Some viewers may find his antics out to be more cringe-worthy or irritating than humorous because of this, and most viewers tend to enjoy his more unfortunate situations as a form of comeuppance for Shrek's unruly antics.
2. Like the many foolish types of 'comedic side characters', his stupidity often blinds him from his lunacy. Where some of his disgusting and strange actions can sometimes be carried to the point of being a nusiance or otherwise completely childish, selfish, careless, or problematic within his recklessness, like when he ate Thanksgiving food that Mario told him not to eat in "Mario's Thanksgiving Problem!", it doesn't help that he rarely learns from his mistakes most of the time.
   • Due to being very lazy and boorish, he is somewhat bossy and immature as he usually leaves Mario to do most of his work wanting toilet paper to be handed down to him, and having others solve problems with the toilet. This is best exemplified in "Shrek's Bath Problem", where he acts gross and does stupid things that make things worse for Mario, driving Mario to madness and Mario needing to eat a small mushroom to shrink himself to escape, and he manages to open the door by jiggling it and opening the door easily despite annoying Mario with forcing him to do pointless things like wanting to pour cheeseballs on himself or wanting Mario to pick up his own poop in the bathtub.
   • His antics and slobbish nature have caused more harm than good to other people. In the episode "The Ring!", while he was willing to help Mario get the ring back when Shrek thought he ate the ring, he craps all over the bathroom and has fun with making a snow angel out of his own crap instead of helping, the result of what he drank to get the ring out of his body made more of a mess for either Chef Pee Pee or anyone else to clean up. And in "Jeffy's Coma", despite wanting to help Mario revive Jeffy by farting, Shrek (despite knowing fully well how noxious and destructive his farts are) uses his farts to unintentionally turn it into nuclear malefic that blew up the world and committed populicide and mass ecocide!
3. He was at his absolute worst in "Shrek's Crappy Wish". This takes the way he generally mistreats Mario up to eleven (to the point of making Mario eat his crap!), stripping away all of his likability and charm, making him very unlikable and out of character. Thankfully, he goes back to being himself in future videos.
   • He didn't have the best beginning since he was just introduced in 2008 when his personality wasn't as fleshed out as he is nowadays.
4. He can be quite delusional. Examples of this are being defensive to Mario giving advice and criticism for Shrek's behavior and standards, like in "The Couch!" or "Shrek's Diet" where he believes Mario should've been spying on him to prevent him from eating the expired cheesecake and believes cheesecake is healthy because of the cheese.
5. He still has had his abusive moments, like how he'd comically mistreat others if they touched or ate 'his' cheesecake (especially his mistreatment of Toad). Examples of how he'd act psychotic and do violent things towards Toad quite often for eating Shrek's cheesecake by mistake in "Toad's Mistake 3".
   • He is known to have a very short temper, and this usually occurs when he doesn't get food or when someone disturbs him. This is noticeable in The Bird when Skittles eats Shrek's McDonald's and disturbs him when he is making love with/eating his cheesecake in his room.
   • He is also shown to be sometimes extremely cruel to just about everyone. He has shoved a corndog up Mario's butt, forced Mario to drink his diarrhea simply because Mario wouldn't give him toilet paper, brutally murdered Toad multiple times, threw Toad out of the house, made Toad eat his crap on multiple occasions, gave Toad a swirly because he ate his cheesecake, made an extremely hurtful and mean rap against Toad with Black Yoshi, and much more.
6. In "Shrek's Endless Cheesecake!", his cheesecake obsession has gone so severe that he attacked Rosalina twice just for the fact she doesn't like cheesecake; which could make him quite scary, and not only did he acted rude to a waitress, he kept rubbing his face on a cheesecake and once acted lustful about how much he loves eating cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory before he demanded for more than two cheesecakes to indulge himself with (while throwing a fork on the ground to slam his face into the cheesecake), and even wanted a tower of 10 cheesecakes when the owner offered one whole cheesecake for Shrek to take home: which he actually accepted, which splashed all over the owner's face (while horrfied) and wanting more.

Videos

WARNING: Tons of gross-out visuals are displayed in these videos, if you're highly sensitive to hearing farts and seeing explict imagery such as excrement or diarrhea,
Don't watch these videos if you're on a full stomach.

Trivia

• From 2008-2017, Shrek used to have a bunch of appearances. However, from 2018-onwards, he doesn't appear in videos often because of the excessive amount of crapping he did, which not only created huge messes for the cast to clean but didn't comply with YouTube’s guidelines since 2018. However, in October 2020, he seemed to have fewer appearances and screen time, however in 2021, he made no appearances, and in 2022 where he made cameos in two episodes during that year.
• As seen in some videos, he seems to have magical powers that Shrek himself never seems to care about nor ever noticed. In "Shrek's Crappy Wish", he was able to undo Mario's curse Shrek made for Mario to be an actual donkey, and he was able to fly into space wearing an iron man mask one time just because of the spicy food Woody told him to try.
• Despite something in the cheesecake Shrek ate that made him pregnant, it is scientifically unknown how he gave birth to Shrek Junior despite being male.

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