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    "Don't let your kids watch it!" - Robbie Rotten

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    Reason: TBA

    Conker the Squirrel
    "It all started.... yesterday. What a day that was! It's what I call... a bad fur day."
    Gender: Male
    Type: Badass Self-Aware Squirrel
    Age: 18-20 (Diddy Kong Racing-Conker's Pocket Tales)
    21 (since Conker's Bad Fur Day)
    Species: Squirrel
    Portrayed by: Chris Seavor
    Media of origin: Conker

    Conker (also known as Conker the Squirrel) is the main protagonist of Rare's Conker series. He also appeared in the N64 game, Diddy Kong Racing.

    Why He Rocks

    1. Back in his old appearances in Diddy Kong Racing and Conker's Pocket Tales, he was a very friendly squirrel, like most of Rare and Nintendo's protagonists.
    2. He was a very fun squirrel to play as, and he gave joy to the kids who played as him in the above mentioned games.
    3. His Pocket Tales show him as a kind and brave squirrel, as he rescues Berri from the Evil Acorn and gets back his presents, leading to a happy ending, and shows his great love for Berri back at the time.
    4. He's the very first video game character to go from a kid-friendly to a mature protagonist, when Conker's Bad Fur Day came, which is impressive.
    5. Also, the game mentioned above changes him from a kid-friendly squirrel who is friendly to everyone, into a very mature, snarky, and greedy alcoholic, who shows little interest in most people he meets. But, some of his softer side also remains, so he's not completely heartless.
    6. He's a very cute squirrel.
    7. Conker is a great case of a mature protagonist when he shows adult topics, graphic violence, sexual content, heavy swearing, and dark humor.
    8. He has many pop-culture references from movies and television from R-rated and TV-MA rated (ex. A Clockwork Orange, Alien, The Terminator, Saving Private Ryan, The Matrix, etc.) with his humor well placed.
    9. His humor is hilarious with lots of dark and adult humor.
    10. Chris Seavor does a great job voicing him, especially when he has his more mature voice.
    11. His greedy side is hilarious, as he does nice things for people to get some benefit out of it most of the time.
    12. He shows some friendliness and respect to some of his friends, like Rodent, Franky, the Sargent, Greg the Grim Reaper, Jugga (obviously), Birdy, and Berri (his girlfriend).
    13. He's shown to deal with evil and less hearted people very well:
      • He saves Jugga from Bugga the Nut and defeats him using Fangy to bite his butt and show his small "boner" (which Jugga is very thankful for and that’s why she’ll always love him, and she thinks he’s cute).
      • He pockets the Catfish’s $10 dollars, which is understandable since they would only give him a dollar after all of the trouble he went through to get the money.
      • He and Rodent defeat the Teddies and the Experiement, aka, the Little Girl, using weapons and an army tank.
      • He defeats the Great Mighty Poo using toilet paper and by flushing him down.
      • He defeats the Fire-Imps by peeing on them after drinking lots of beer, and defeats their big robot by getting filth on them and then banging the robot's "balls" with his weapons.
      • He helps Queen Bee get her hive back, which she then uses to defeat Wayne and the Wankas.
      • He avoids being defeated, so he can avoid capture by the Panther King, until the point when the Panther King was killed by Professor Von Kriplespac.
      • He defeats his evil ancestor, Count Batula, by giving him too much blood, and when he drank it all, Batula fell into the spiked machine and it killed him.
      • He avenges Berri after she is killed by opening the airlock, which sent both her murderer, Don Weaso (as we don’t see him at the end of the game), as well as Professor Von Kriplespac into space and to their fatal deaths, where they run out of oxygen.
      • And finally, he defeats the Professor’s monster pet, a Xenomorph named Heinrich, thanks to the programmer helping him out.
    14. He's shown to have a good heart as he has some things he's done without getting paid:
      • He stops Ron and Reg from verbally abusing Franky, and even aids Franky in reattaching his body.
      • He’s friendly with Fangy, the green baby dinosaur that was about to eat him, bonding with him after fighting Bugga.
      • He’s also an ally to Rodent, seeing him as an old friend, and was saddened about his supposed death. He is very happy when Rodent made it back alive.
      • His love for Berri still remains, as he truly does care for her, and is depressed after seeing her gunned down, and blowing his chance to get her back from the programmer (it makes sense in context, trust us).
    15. He's one of the first video game protagonists to have a depressing ending, with him becoming the King of all the Land, but being sad as Berri is gone and while his friends try to cheer him up, he just drinks his depression away, and walks from the bar a sad drunk. His ending felt real and heartbreaking to the point of making players feel sympathy for him only. Poor Conker.
    16. He had his own series of animated shorts called Conker’s Etiquette Guide.

    Bad Qualities

    1. Some of his toilet humor is really unfunny, like the scene where he barfs after drinking too much, and the scenes where he pees (depending on your view).
    2. He can be cruel at times just like the disgustoids from secret mountain fort awesome.
      • He let’s a baby dinosaur (a purple one, not the green one he befriended) die for his own sake.
      • He forces the Queen Bee to quadruple her pay, to get him to get her hive back a 2nd time.
      • He toys with leaving Berri for Jugga (this was before Berri's death by the way).
    3. He had a younger counterpart, Young Conker, that was badly flanderized to not having the charm his kid-friendly nor his mature counterparts had. Not to mention, his redesign was awful and looked nothing like his original counterparts.
    4. She can be immature at times.


    • He and Screwy Squirrel can be seen a bit similar, due to them both being orange squirrels who are anti-heroic and like to break the fourth wall very often, it's not helping that they both like poking fun a lot, much like how Screwy Squirrel once beat up a squirrel for being too cutesy, Conker likes being the anti-heroic counterpart of a ideal 3D platformer mascot like Banjo and Mario are.


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